Thursday, July 23, 2009

i am your neighbor; i can hear you. [i got this tin can with a string through]

i like listening. all kinds of listening. listening to you tell me about your day, listening to music, listening in on other peoples' conversations...

oops. did i say that last one out loud?

well yeah. yeah. i like to eavesdrop. not on important things, don't worry. i'm not a snoop [yes i am], i just think overheard information is somehow...funner.

example: go into le chateau, you know--that fancy dress up store. go in there and look at the scarves. this will put you in a good place to be able to hear the cashiers talking amongst themselves. i did that today. for fun. i'll let you in on what i heard:

"like, k. girls. like...you know those shoes?" ("like, k" is only a real sentence in le chateau)

"yuh. why?" ("yuh"= "yeah" but with a snobbish, hearty sigh stuck right in the middle)

"i got them for that wedding..., like, massive BLISTERS!!! i HATE THEM!" (TRAVESTIES!!!)

"NO WAY! they were SO pretty."

"yuh. but i HATE them."

"oh hun" (sympathy)

"yuh. and THEN."

"mm?"

"my sister borrowed them. and. LOST. them. like. ugh. how do you LOSE shoes?"

"yuh! is she buying you new ones?"

"wulllllllll i think she SHOULD. and they better be the same as the ones she lost." (those ones that you HATE?)

"yuh."

for all the hair flips and eye-rolling, i wouldn't have been surprised if some hair extentions came flying over and landed on my head---or if one of them rolled their eyes right out of their sockets.

but then my listening was interupted by an older lady with a loud, nasally voice. she found herself some red shoes and decided to share them with me.
"LOOK AT THESE SHOES. THEY LOOK LIKE DOROTHY'S SHOES. YOU KNOW. LIKE WIZARD OF OZ. EXCEPT HERS WERE HIGH HEELS. NOT THESE ONES. THEY'RE FLAT. BUT NO, I NEVER DID SEE THAT WHOLE MOVIE. PFFT." she smiled knowingly at me, like that movie wasn't cool and she and i both knew it. then she found some earrings. "THESE ARE BIG. THEY'RE SO BIG. DEAR, LOOK HOW BIG THESE EARRINGS ARE."
so i listened to her for a while.
cuz i like listening.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think I lost 120 IQ points reading the shoe conversation.