Saturday, November 27, 2010

the spffa and me

so there's this billboard that the spffa put up by our house.

barclay does not like the leading cause of scalds billboard. 
because barclay already knows what the leading cause of scalds are, and he does not need a billboard to tell him. he would rather he had a billboard with a picture of his family, or telling him game scores or a nice and funny joke.

thus, every time we drive past it, barclay makes a point of reading it out loud and saying, 
"leading cause? what other causes are there?"
and then, for the rest of the trip to wherever it is that we happen to be going, he rants about what a pointless and stupid billboard that billboard is. 

this morning, i poured boiling homemade syrup* all over my left hand. 
i was pouring it from the pot into the jar and was right in the middle of saying, "look at that! i did it without spilling!" when something happened, i know not what, and everything was burning and blistering and running and it was the end of the world and then i just stood there in the kitchen and wailed like a dog with its tail caught in the garage door until barclay took the pot away from me and put my hand under cold water.

can i get some sympathy? 
i know i ask for it about once a month, but it's pretty legitimate: i am a klutz with a capital all of the letters.

at first, i thought maybe barclay brought this misfortune on me by making fun of the spffa. 
but upon further reflection, i've decided i shouldn't blame barclay or the spffa for my problems since, really, i scald myself on boiling liquids probably twice a week. 
so i've made a minor adjustment to the billboard.

*1 cup white sugar, 1 cup brown sugar, 1 cup water. bring to a boil, stirring frequently. serve hot. so much cheaper and tastier and more sugary than store-bought syrup. careful though because the leading cause of scalds is hot liquids and foods and if you spill it on your face you'll be pretty sad forever.


The Lilac Rabbit said...

One morning I made cafe au lait for myself and my husband. I was pretty proud of myself until I somehow poured my entire cup into my pajamaed lap. :( I'm a klutz too. Hope your hand feels better.

Nell said...

This cracked me up so much! Love this post x

Nell said...

ps. Poor you!! Hope you're ok now...wasn't laughing at your misfortune, just at your poster amends!! x

Kayla said...

Oh for sad's sake! I'm sorry you burned yourself, and I love the billboard amendment. I find that's pretty true in my life as well.

p.s. Huzzah for homemade syrup! My mom used to make it when I was a kid and I still think it tastes best.

Jen Wilson said...

awesome photoshop work there.


Anonymous said...

O my dear, sweet Suzy! Sometimes you remind me of wile E coyote!! But, yes, you do have our sympathy.

luv ya. Auntie Elaine

Kelsey said...

you have my sympathy :)

Meghan said...

What do you use that syrup for??? I am a much confused American.

chelsa said...

i just laughed out loud! love it... and sorry to hear about your burned hand. good thing you have barclay there to tend to your wounds, despite his distaste for said billboard message!

suzy said...

kayla: it DOES doesn't it? yum.

nell: haha, it's ok if you're laughing at me too--i don't usually mind if people do that. so long as it's not at my face, or my taste in music. touchy...

lilac rabbit: oh NO! ouch. ouch. ouch. and it hurts so much worse when you're right in the middle of feeling proud. :(

auntie elaine!! thank you!! :D (haha, wile e coyote is a pretty good cartoon doppleganger for me, i think.)

jen wilson: suzy's hand says, "THANKS JEN WILSON!"

meghan: pancakes!!! :D or waffles. try it, you'll love it. {and the sugar high.}

kelsey: oh thanks! :)

chelsa: yes, barclay is kind of essential. what would i even DO without him??