2. i got a new printer at work yesterday. i fired it up and plugged it in, only to discover it was a greek printer and spoke not a word of english.
3. upon examining the troubleshooting guide that came with the greek printer, we found the page on what to do if your printer is in the wrong language. oh good. i will now read a segment of the troubleshooting guide to you:
On your printer, select "Options", and "Languages" on the touch screen, then select your desired language.
5. these instructions would help a lot more if i knew the greek words for "options" and "languages". as it is, it took three scholars who'd taken Greek in Bible school to figure out how to make my printer speak English.
6. on wednesday i spilled boiling water on my stomach and scalded myself. i stared at barclay for roughly a second and then screamed bloody murder. right in his ear. pork eye.
7. when my brother says, "poor guy", it sounds like he's saying "pork eye." so now instead of saying "poor guy", barclay and i say "pork eye." it's a thing. you can do it too, if you want. you'll sound kind of insensitive though, like us.
8. today there's a man working on the light fixtures right above my head. he keeps saying things like, "oh, this stuff up here is kind of worrying me. it might fall on your head." and "ha, ha, oh man, i hope this doesn't fall on your head." and "man, if these fall on your head, i'm going to feel terrible." i'm starting to worry that something is going to fall on my head.
9. i wish i had a raspberry mocha right now, and some headphones with samuel beam in them. and someone willing to play a game of monopoly with me.
10. you remember dr quinn, medicine woman? like, jane seymour? did you know her actual name is actually Joyce Penelope Wilhelmina Frankenberg?