paisley fishbug wars

this morning, as i wandered reluctantly from a sweet dream back into reality to face the day, i became aware of a man's voice, a droning, monotone intonation, going on and on and on, as though unaware of me. i couldn't make out what he was saying, but was alarmed at his presence in my bedroom. i sat straight up, looked around, saw no one.
silence.
then, he spoke again, louder this time, clearer: "police are disturbed by the remains of a mutilated cow found in a field near saskatoon."
what a way to start the day. thank you alarm clock radio.
update on the paisley bugs situation: upon closer inspection, the paisley bugs are fuzzy, and look almost like little fish with lots of legs. i've seen about 20 of them. i've been dreaming about them. when i pull the covers up to my chin at night, my imagination goes wild, and i picture millions of them swarming under the sheets, devouring my legs, slipping under my toenails to make their homes there.
paisley fishbugs seem like the kind of fishbugs that would do that.
pleasant fact: spider blaster destroys paisley fishbugs.
spider blaster is the best.