Wednesday, August 19, 2009

the Creatures in guzz's basement

i live in the basement of one seventy-something year old lady named guzz. she is my future grandmother-in-law and she is awesome and she cuts up red peppers into a bowl for me so that i have something to snack on every time i walk in the door and we play yahtzee and she calls the dice "dirty dog" whenever they don't do as she asks and she feeds me til i'm excessively full and then she plops a handful (yes, a handful, as in: who needs a serving spoon when you have perfectly good bare hands) of cake on my plate for dessert. you would like her.
in the basement, however, i have recently discovered some kind of Creature. there was that episode with the spider, where i got the Spider Blaster, (remember?) and blasted the spiders. and there was one spider that came back and i blasted him and he kept living because he was a ripped spider, the arnold schwarzenneger of spiders ("I'LL BE BACK", right? yeah), so i crushed him under a huge bottle of expensive salon shampoo and left him there (2 weeks ago; i can't bring myself to look and see if i killed him or if he's just under there waiting for me). but recently i've been discovering these Things everywhere. one jumped out at me this morning from underneath my towel and i screamed and woke guzz up. they look like this, drawn actual size:

i call it the Paisley Bug. its tentacles are probably a bit longer than that, and its teeth a bit bigger.

also, it moves at an incredible rate. it jumps, pretty much straight horizontally, and really fast, and in a confusing pattern, so you can't predict where it will end up. thusly, i can't squish it. also, i don't really want it on the bottom of my shoe.


1 comment:

Jen Glen said...

I have no idea, but I like your drawings! The unidentifiable bug in our basement doesn't jump so it can't be the same as yours. :(