i will not cut my own hair i will not cut my own hair i will not cut my own hair i will not cut my own hair

i drove into a mini van yesterday. it all started with some pimples.
on my forehead.
not usually a big deal. but i was really tired...and really didn't like these zits. they were terrible zits. so i decided i needed to cover them up. options: hat? headband? make-up?
i am impulsive, irrational, and stupid when i'm tired. i grabbed a pair of scissors and gave myself bangs.
they look terrible.
this all happened about five minutes before i had to leave for work.
it flustered me. i envisioned cute, thick bangs, gently falling on my forehead to cover up the monstrosity that is exploding acne. mm, not so much. it's a hack job.
i sprinted to my borrowed mini van, got almost to work and realized my engagement ring was not on my finger.
once again, i was reminded that i am a tragically emotional woman. poor, poor barclay.
i tried to remember if i'd shook the hands of any possible ring thieves that morning, and finally concluded it was either on the street outside my house or in my house.so i drove all the way home, found my ring, drove back to work, and plowed into another mini van in the parking lot. thankfully, i am graceful, and plowed gently.