awwwwwgust

last night, i thought i was going to die. like, again.
it would seem that i often think i'm going to die. it's kind of ridiculous.
but last night, i was pretty sure.
it all started when i arrived home sometime after 11, wandered downstairs and tried to go to sleep. that's when my brain turned on and i thought to myself, "what if someone comes into my house and kills me? what if i turn over right now and there's a man standing over my bed with a butcher knife? what if i overhear my roommate being murdered in the room right above my head? would the police even get here in time?" i decided that if i heard footsteps in the house, i would just crawl under my bed and call the police. cuz, honestly, i HATE horror movies, where the main character hears a noise and, instead of calling the police or hiding, she goes to see what the noise is and ends up getting stabbed. how stupid could you be? and like, she never even brings some kind of weapon to defend herself with.
that's when i heard footsteps in the house. by this time it was like 12:30 in the morning, and my roommate goes to bed at like 10:30. so i decided that i should go see who the heck was wandering around my house at 12:30 AM. i grabbed my cell phone (well ya know...i guess i figured if there was a murderer in my living room, i could politely ask him to hang on a sec while i contacted the proper authorities), and went to investigate.
i didn't really find anybody. i thought once that i saw a shadow move, but i think it was mine.
upon talking to my roommate this morning, i found that she, too, had been up a lot of the night, afraid of murderers and footsteps and knives. basically, we probably just heard each other wandering around locking doors and flipping lights on. tonight, i'm sleeping with all the lights on.