facebook schmaceschmook: a commentary on the incontrovertible piques of social networking

facebook is not a social networking site.
facebook is a brood, nay, a plague, of time-sucking applications and games, coming at you amidst a dark, swarming cloud of up-to-date information about people you once knew in real life - information that isn't really any of your business. information that, if you were to call one of those so-called "friends" up and ask for it, would be denied you with an awkward, "okayyy... s'how do i know you again?"
and isn't that just it? you know what they're doing, where they're going, what they like, who they like, where they went on Christmas vacation, whose party they're going to on Saturday night [as well as who else was invited--and that you're not], and what strain of the moroccan flu they caught in new jersey, and you've veiwed a few dozen photo albums of them and their friends playing wii fit and going on vacation. some of which might or might not be photo-shopped to make pictures of them playing wii fit look like they're pictures of them going on vacation [not gonna lie: i have done it. for kicks].
you know them better than their own mum, but not at all.

this isn't me saying i'm going to delete my facebook account.
no way. uh-uh. never.
as much as i despise the level of connectivity i now have with everyone i've ever met in my entire existance, i wonder at people who live outside of cyberspace.
...do people...live...outside of cyberspace?

boyfriends and birthdays

let us consider the phenomenon that is facebook for a moment, shall we? i'm exploring it right now...and thanks to facebook, i now know that jeremy went golfing this weekend (and had a WONDERFUL time), rachel is not going to enjoy bathing in this stench, and chelsa is single.
that is something i don't quite understand: putting your relationship status on facebook. i had a friend who was dating some girl, and one week, my updates wall told me this: monday- charles is so looking forward to this weekend! i get to see my girl!!! tuesday- charles only has 3 more sleeps till agnes! wednesday- charles is getting SO excited to see her! thursday- charles TOMORROW!!!! friday - charles is now listed as single.
names changed to protect poor little jared. i mean charles. and agnes. we'll protect her too.
then there's the birthday thing. last january, i changed my birthday from june 20th to january 20th. and the whole world was calling me and writing me and wishing me a happy birthday, and some friends even bought me an ice cream cake. at which point i felt like a decietful jerk, but didn't really regret it; free ice cream cake is a treasure.