i like to make fun

i just saw a commercial for a product that sort of colors over your grey hairs, but not completely. so you can "look like you have experience, but like you're energetic at the same time!" (their words, not mine)
i wanted to make fun of it, but i'm terribly, terribly alone today.
that's pretty much why i have a blog.
so we have a product that "sort of" colors over your grey hairs. why not just buy and use half a bottle of hair color? or half a can of grey paint... or leave your hair the way it is? or dye it brown? i don't know, did we really need another option?
i'm going to invent a product that helps you to lose weight but not too much weight, so that you can "look festively plump, but like you're a supermodel at the same time".
or how about a product that helps you to get rid of zits, but not ALL your zits, or something that whitens your teeth but leaves them a little bit yellow.
people will buy anything, as long as you sell it right.

i award you no points

i saw a sign in a store window today that said, "nice shoes for less."
good one guys. best ad campaign EVER. might as well just make a sign that says, "kind of expensive, but not really, and sort of comfy, pretty long lasting shoes" or better yet, "our product is average".
i had another one of those moments today where i thought i was going to be killed by some guy. i was walking in the park and he was walking in the park and he had a plethora of scraggly unwashed hairs covering the chin region of his face. and as he approached, he rolled up his sleeves, staring at me the whole time, and started flexing his muscles. no lie. so i thought maybe he was going to use his muscles to punch my lights out, but he was actually just showing off, in his scary crazy man sort of way. i was unimpressed.