1. i didn't write a friday list last week. it is because i am a failure.
2. i don't really think i'm a failure. i just fail sometimes. i'm not sure what the exact criteria are that would move someone from the "i just fail sometimes" category into the "failure" category. i will give it some serious consideration and get back to you at the end of the list.
3. yesterday, a guy at work hid a walky-talky behind my desk printer when i wasn't sentient of his sneakings. then he snuck away and squealed into the speaker. and scared the sneakers off of me.
4. peter piper can't have picked a peck of pickled peppers--pickled peppers aren't picked pickled! they're pickled after they're picked!
5. we slept through our alarm clock this morning. oops. i still managed to be three minutes early for work. i think this is one good sign that i am not a failure.
6. next week, my husband is going away [for his job] for 2 weeks. rats. i think this is the ratsiest thing that's happened all life.
7. i need to drink more water.
8. ok. the failure thing. i think, in my humble yet esteemed opinion, that you are classified as a failure once you've successfully failed at every single thing you've ever attempted in your life. thus, i am not one, as i made it to work on time every day this week and passed high school and have a job and won a science fair back in grade 8.
9. in fact, with that criteria, i think it might technically be impossible for anyone to be a failure. i think everyone has at least accidentally succeeded at something.
10. my opinion isn't actually esteemed though. so. we might all still be failures. maybe, unless you've successfully succeeded at every single thing you've ever attempted in your life, you're a failure. then in THAT case i'm definitely a failure. you should see the cake i tried making this week; we ended up drinking it from bowls instead of forking it off a plate. it was failure with a capital everything.
11. oh well.