one time when i was little, jannaya and i found these bird's eggs in a bird's nest in a tree in my backyard. the bird was not there.
so we took the eggs.
we decided we could maybe do a better job of hatching them than that stupid old bird.
["bird-brain" would not be an insult if birds were smart, i reasoned.]
we put them in some doll blankets in a heinz ketchup jar under a desk lamp, and we waited.
my mom threw them away.
and then i couldn't physically stand the thought of eating eggs for a few years.
i tell you all this for no other reason than to keep myself from rashly punching somebody, anybody, in the face.
they're installing the alarm system today, right beside my desk, and it is cacophonous and shrill and has gone off more than 20 times in the past five minutes.
five minutes ago, i was a gentle, patient person.
at present, i am about one more alarm testing away from stark raving lunacy.
so i'm reliving my childhood, one inane memory at a time, until it's all over.