if i were lindsay lohan

this weekend i wished i was famous. famous people have a lot of power. if i was famous, i would use my powers for good. i would go on tv and say, "hey, you, girl who works at the shoppers drug mart in regina, saskatchewan, you know who you are, girl with the black hair and green streaks and piercings all over the place: i SAW you wink at my fiance while i was paying for my cereal. how dare you." and then i'd say, "hey you, kids who egged my vehicle the other night while i slept--please email me your address so i can egg your face while you sleep." not meanly or anything, i just think, you know, what they did wasn't very nice, and i had a sticky, egg-covered door handle on saturday morning and i thought they could have at least, you know, NOT thrown eggs at it...
but 'whatevs', as you city folk say. and 'what goes around goes around goes around comes all the way back around', as justin timberlake would say.